Body language - Understand How You Communicate With Others

Body language is used by us all each and every day. We cannot help it. As opposed to the language we speak, body language is the language of the body. It has its own nuances, meanings, interpretations, as well as its own uses. We learn this throughout life, whether we are aware of it or not. And we use it throughout life, too. We use it to express ourselves, to assess situations, and to attract others. Recognizing the signals is all part of how we communicate and interact with others.

What is body language?

We are all social beings though the extent of our interactions and interplay with others is unique to us. Some people are very sociable, most of us are somewhere in the middle range, while others remain near recluses.

Life has its own way of communication. The body communicates all the time. We do this consciously at times, but most of the time we don't think about it. We just do it. We communicate with movements or the positioning of our body.

You use it, I use it - we all use it

The language of the body is something we all practice. I use it, you use it, and all our friends use it. And my boss uses it, and your boss uses it. We all use body language. It adds another and fuller dimension to our communication. We say, when someone makes a big decision that we prefer to be there in person.

We want to see what the person is doing, how they are acting, how they are. What we are asking is that we wish to see that their body-language backs up the words. That everything rings true. That the words are supported by the right posture and the corresponding body actions. We recognize that body and mouth needs to work in harmony, because we will recognize it when and if they do not appear in harmony, or if they don't appear to be in synchronization.

Subconscious use of body language

Most of us communicate with our body subconsciously. Our bodies back up our words to get our message across. Our mannerisms we might say are part of our body language. This happens all the time whether we like it or not. We give off signals which are there waiting for interpretation. All that is needed is for the other person, and that can includes us in our turn, to be ready to receive. Ready to receive and interpret and understand the messages we are giving off.

It is worth the time and trouble to learn a bit more about this 'secondary' language. Yet we do understand a lot. We know when someone is angry with us. We know when someone is happy with us. We know when someone loves us. Their body and actions give the game away. And this is so in any situation.

What are we masking - do we 'wear a body mask'?

If we understand the language of the body then we can try to mask the signals we give off. We can try to deceive the receiver of our messages. We can try to gain an advantage in this way. In playing poker or bridge you can observe the card players hiding their cards, and they are not just hiding their cards, are they? They are trying to hide their reactions to their cards from the other players. They are trying to hide the value and the strength of their cards from the other players. Some are better at this than others. If the card player can 'read' his opponent then he can gain an advantage in being able to better predict the outcome of the card game.

But this also works in day to day life, too. And we all try it. Some of us are better at it than others. But we can learn to read through someone's 'mask'. And the more practice we have the better we get at it. And we can practice this each and every day.

Being ourselves

Being ourselves and being comfortable with that is one of the aims of life. Being ourselves also helps make our body-language seem natural. When we are natural, so will be our reaction and interaction to other people and to situations.

We then can come across well. We come across as an honest human being. We come across as someone who can be trusted. We are confident in what we do. Our self image is good. We are motivated in life and go after our goals and in so doing present a consistent and constant 'face' to the world.

• A face of someone in control but not controlling
• A face of someone who is disciplined without being disciplining
• A face of someone who is enjoying life and willing to share that experience with others
• A face of someone who is growing in life but not at the expense of others
• A face of someone who is managing their life but not by taking advantage of other people
• A face of someone who is behaving as a human being should, carefree and content - and happy to show that face off to the world

A quick reflection

Your body language speaks volumes about you before you open your mouth. There are few secrets about it really; it is as natural to us as the alphabet we use. Be yourself and your body language will follow.

When you are being yourself and happy with it you are just being comfortable in your own skin. And you give off good vibes. People around you are happy to be there as you are being truly good company. And your body language reflects this confidence, this esteem that is you.

Look after the important aspects of life and your body language will take care of itself. Be a caring and sharing person and people will also be there for you, too. Be a person who is enjoying their journey through life and life will reveal its secrets to you. Take care of your own life and how you live and your body language will take care of itself.